aye aye aye

today was not one of my best days. we went to church and the power was out it was so hot i really thought i might pass out. I hate not understanding anything that they say. they might as well be speaking in gibberish. i get so frustrated. i can home from church, laid in my bed and cried and cried........i know i need to give myself more time its only been a few days. but its so hard when i cant even talk to anyone. at least at the school im teaching people and helpping but today at church i was just sitting there feeling more and more lonely. its not that im homesick and want to leave. Its just the fact that i have no one to talk to. Camilo the man whose family im living with he speaks english but i bet we only sit and talk for 20 minutes a day maybe......im hopeing that when the other kids from byu get here it will be better and i wont feel so lonely. i just want so bad to be able to have a conversation with some one. at night i turn on my ipod just to hear english just to hear something i can understand. i spend hours teaching people english butthe only spanish i learn is what i look up and write down or try to study at night. once or twice someone will point out a word or teach me a phrase but its not like those kids i teach in class. i feel like im just trying to teach myself...ggggrrrrr it just gets me all worked up and frusrate and upset.......its not that i want to leave i love teaching the class thank goodness most of it is in english but people ask questions in spanish and the dennis that man that i teach with starts explaining( still in spanish) and i just sit there the kids will laugh at thing and i just have no idea what going on....im being so negitive i know and i should be i have been given this amazing chance to do something good for other people and for people that really need it maybe i just needed to vent a little get it out so that i can move on and i KNOW things will get better so little time has gone by i just need to be able to make it till them